workout – 8K (5 mile) run. Ran at my average pace of 11:45 per mile.
I never seem to run any faster, no matter what, so I don’t enter races to win because the only way the tortoise beats the hare is by trickery. And my trickery skills are seriously lacking.
I run only for the experience.
For the fun.
For the t shirt and Gatorade.
For the safety pins.
Truly it is all about the safety pins.
I have not run a single step since my long run on Sunday. Mostly because my legs were terribly exhausted and also because of this.
The ass bruise.
Today is the first day that I don’t wince each time my pants rubbed against my skin. Since I had not run a single step since my epic tumble down the stairs I had no fucking clue how amazingly hurtful the ass bruise is when running.
I made myself a deal that no matter how much it hurt I would try my best to run and if I needed to walk, I’d walk. Pretty simple.
It hurt. A lot.
Please try to imagine the worst bruise you have ever had.
Now imagine it is on your ass and you have had trouble sitting down for 2 days.
And then picture yourself running.
Your gelatinous mass of an ass is bouncing with every step you take.
Your extra large and painful bruise is also bouncing with every step you take.
The pain is extremely similar to someone tapping your bruise with every step.
In short…it really, really, really fucking hurt. But, I ran the entire race!
For those of you who have never run a road race in rural NW Ohio here is what you are missing:
If it looks like a bunch of boring crops and fields then you would be correct.
When I get lonely running a race near the corn fields and start to freak the fuck out because the Children of the Corn may jump out and eat my brains I remember that I always have a good friend with me. One who can keep pace with my extremely slow running style:
My hair also mimics a troll doll when I run. Plus my tongue seems to have fallen out of my mouth from sheer exhaustion. It was only mile 2 people. Drama queen…
If the expansion of crops didn’t tip you off that we were in farm country then you’ll never question it when you pass this on the road:
I assume it is some sort of fargo-style wood chipper or something that helps to spread seeds into the soil. Either way it is in John Deere green so it must have been a nice chunk of change. Plus…that picture showed that I wasn’t the last runner! Score one for the even slower than Amanda people!
Another sign of farm country:
Someone is putting their equipment out to pasture. Or bragging that they have two of…those things. Or selling it. Either way I don’t want it.
All in all I ended up having a great time at this race and ran my ass bruise off.
The best part was having people scream Don’t Stop to me and then realizing they were reading my shirt. THANKFULLY people were finally getting it! I have had so many people ask me what the hell this shirt meant. I thought it was obvious. But then again, people are dumb as rocks.
And I got an awesome retro looking tech race shirt out of the whole deal too:
Now I need to rest my legs, rest my ass bruise and hydrate for my half trail run on Sunday.
At least I’ll have 13,339 trees to look at instead of crops and farm equipment.
But it will be harder to see my running buddy at my side.
Thank goodness there will be safety pins.
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
I always wonder how people manage to run with a camera… and then how much faster they’d be if they didn’t take so many pictures
Unfortunately my camera would die from my sweat if I tried to run with it. I know I’ve probably missed a lot of great pictures though!
(feel free to take bets on how long before I’m running with a camera)
Seeing as I am a slow runner anyways I honestly haven’t seen a drop in my speed at all if I take pics while I run. I only run with my crummy $50 camera so I don’t have to worry about accidentally dropping it or sweating it out. A few people questioned why I ran with a camera and ‘I have a blog’ made perfect sense to them it seems.
I’ll bet under 4 months.
Yeah it definitely makes for more interesting blog posts, and that’s why I know that I’ll give in… eventually…. on some runs…. maybe. I don’t think anyone really cares to see the football field I’m currently running on though. I might take a picture once I manage to completely kill the grass on the path I’ve made around the field
I would love to see the path you’ve worn! That is quite a feat.
And you read a post about farm country and tractors during my race recap of sorts so who is to say what is good blog/running material!
I’ve never ran an 8K but would love to. Sounds like a fun distance and a fun race.
I like the vintage design on the shirt!
I have now run a 5K, 7K and an 8K along with my half marathon. It is fun to run ‘odd’ distances! And it is almost always a PR! haha!
Love the saftey pins!!! I am a serious slow runner…and I really have no desire to do speed work…I will never finish in the top 10 for my age range…maybe when I am 60…if I can still run…
Hope your ass bruise feels better soon:)
Thank you Erin!
I have NEVER done speed work.
Just the fact that I am running period, is a big deal. So I tend to stick with that.
I did win a trophy for being 2nd in my age group.
Out of 2.
HA!
Awesome job for running the whole thing with your giant ass bruise!! And that was a great warm up for your half this weekend. GOOD LUCK!! Can’t wait to read the recap!!
I am so excited for my half trail run!!!
Truly the safety pins! If there was a place that I could cash them in……
Great job on the run, bruise and all! I love the shirt, so 70′s! I heard that the 1/2 shirt is pretty awesome! I am picking up my packet today!
I’m picking up my packet today too, can’t wait!